Dear Entitled Wife Syndrome,
I’m breaking up with you. It’s not me. It’s you.
You’re high maintenance, prideful, selfish, and generally annoying. You haven’t contributed anything good or positive to my attitude and you’re proving to be a hurdle in friendships. What’s more, you’re horribly contagious. You start out small in the form of one passing, sarcastic comment and then you grow and fester down deep and invade way too much space.
I’m kicking you out. Consider this your eviction notice. You’re a terrible tenant and an unproductive member of my emotional society.
Since we’re being blunt, you’re ugly too. Totally unattractive.
Look, I get it. This life as a Marine wife is complicated and hard and always changing. You never know what time your husband will get home from work. The thought of meal planning is completely ludicrous because there is no such thing as “dinner time.” Weekends are a total toss-up between having some time together and him getting called in to work on the fly. The thought of a regular and reoccurring routine that isn’t completely obliterated by his schedule sounds like a dream and also sounds completely impossible this side of retirement.
His work environment isn’t always, let’s say, “kosher.” There are some seriously ugly politics and even uglier personalities; power plays and brown-nosers abound. He gets taken advantage of and manipulated and there is nothing he can do about it that doesn’t run the risk of hurting his reputation or worse, his career.
Sometimes he tells you about it when he needs to vent and sometimes he won’t say a word because he desperately needs to not think about work but you convince yourself that he’s not letting you in and shutting down. You blame the Marine Corps for the hiccups and hurdles in your marriage and why shouldn’t you? After all, it’s the Marine Corps that sends your husband away for months at a time and doesn’t even apologize for making him miss, oh I don’t know, THE BIRTH OF YOUR FIRST BORN!
So go ahead and point the finger in every other direction and place blame on his peers, leaders, and circumstances you only hear about indirectly and keep pretending you “really get” what your husband is going through. Because after all, there is a remarkably long list of similarities between your life as a dependent and his job as the service member, right?
In case you haven’t picked up on my attempt at sarcasm, let me spell out for you, Entitled Wife Syndrome, why I think you need to hit the road (and don’t ya come back no mo’, no mo’, no mo!).
Is life as a military wife hard? Yes.
Are there daily learning curves when it comes to how to bend and flex with changing plans, timelines, deployments, moving, children, etc.? Of course.
WHO TOLD YOU IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY?! Where, in your marriage contract, did it promise “boring, nine to five days?”
You can tell yourself all day long that you didn’t “sign up for the Marine Corps” but here’s a news flash sister: if you married a man in uniform, you signed up. Indirectly perhaps, but you signed up.
So snap out of it.
Stop complaining that you are married to a hero who chose a life of service and chose you to serve alongside him.
You have a part to play. You have a very important role to fill and it does NOT include whining about things that neither you nor he can control. Your part has nothing to do with stewing in your own discontent and creating a toxic and infectious home environment for him to come home to.
What you can control is your attitude. Your love, devotion, and commitment to fighting for your husband through consistent prayer, encouragement, adaptability, quiet, resilient strength, and being a source of consolation, reassurance, and hope.
He desperately needs hope and positive reinforcement that you are with him, you are for him and you are on his team, come hell or high water.
You signed up for him and got the Marine Corps too. It was a package deal no doubt, but you’re all in. Everyday.
So that’s it, Entitled Wife Syndrome. We’re through. Over. Done.